Today I was thinking ...
I was surfing on the internet and as usual, made my monthly stop at Mom's caring bridge site....I find that I love to visit each month on the anniversary of her death. It seems to reconnect me with her in a special way as I read the posts I had written while she was ill. Today has been 10 months since I have seen, hugged, held the hand or heard the voice of that beautiful person that poured all the energy she had into making me into the person that I am today.
It really got me thinking about where I am in life. What does she see when she looks down on me from her two seater cloud in heaven that she and Daddy share? Does she still see the hot tempered, stubborn little girl that she would be so frustrated with or does she see the woman that she prayed I would become?
Words began to jump all around in my brain. Words came to my mind quickly that made me think of Mom. Her life was such a perfect mix of words that sometimes seemed to be opposite, but speak so positive to her personality. She was strong yet gentle...fiery tempered yet kind worded...simple yet passionate beyond words. She had the physical strength of an ox when she worked at a task, but her touch was as gentle as a feather. She had a temper that matched that red hair of hers when she was angered by an injustice, but her words always spoke kindness to anyone in need. She was a simple person, finding joy in her yard, her family and her friends...but even in the simplicity of her life she lived it with great passion!
I started thinking about words or phrases I would use to describe myself. Here are a few...
and the list goes on and on!
Then I began to wonder what words others would use to describe me. That's when I really got scared. Would they choose the same words as those on my list? Would they give me a second glance if the first thing they saw are the traits I saw when I looked at myself?
I thought about what God said in Ephesians 4:24. We are supposed to be putting on a new self...created to be like God in righteousness and holiness. I love the translation from The Message "And then take on an entirely new way of life—a God-fashioned life, a life renewed from the inside and working itself into your conduct as God accurately reproduces his character in you." Boy that hit home with me. I looked again at the list of words I had written about myself. Are those words speaking of "a God-fashioned life, a life renewed from the inside?" I think NOT!!!!!
Upon this self examination, I have seen lots of areas that need work. I have realized for sure I have been spending a lot more time living a "Cris-fashioned" life. It really hit me how self gets in the way. By allowing myself to be shaped by me, I have certainly become a mess. It's only when I let God take over every area of my life that I will truly be "renewed from the inside" and then God can produce His character in me making me righteous and holy.
Please make plans to attend my fashion show in the near future...my God-fashioned one. Hopefully, you will see me wearing clothes that have been designed from the "inside" and sewn with the threads of...
And hopefully the list will go on and on!